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Letter to granddad

Dear Granddad, 

I know you cant read this… But here we go anyway.

Your not here with us, but that does not change the way that we love you, nothing can ever change that, I just want to make sure that you knew how much we loved you, With every single breathe I take, I am full of regret and heart break, I remember in 2011 dad told us to come down to Christchurch to see you because this would be the last time we would ever see you, never did I believe that would be the way it was, you lived 5 years longer but it was still the last time I ever saw you alive, and I hurt so much, I did not want to have the heart break of you not knowing who I was,it was not your fault tho, I focused on the wrong things and I wish that I would have seen this sooner, when uncle paul passed away I told myself after sitting there for 4 years wanting to find him and make a relationship with him, but I was so scared of what my family would think of me if I did, I also did not know where to start to find him, so I did nothing then dad told me paul had passed away, I said I will not make that same mistake with granddad and then what do I go and do, I stuff it all up and do the exact same thing. I hope that you can forgive me, I did not do it to hurt anyone, I loved you so much, and I still do.