The last few weeks have been quite the challenge for me, I have noticed that my depression has started to come back, I have been having pain in my breasts and also have had infected Cysts in other parts of my body, have also been waking up with headaches, not really knowing why, When I was younger (Approx 10 years ago) I had this same thing happening where i would wake up with bad headaches i had so many tests done and still no one could tell me wheat was going on, I know most people would be thankful of them not finding anything, in what I am, but then at the same time I am not, I wish that they did find something because then i would know what it is I am dealing with and what things I need to change.
I have a fit bit to help me stay active and motivated, but to be honest as of late, I have not even been able to make it to the small goal i have set of 7000 Steps, some days I’d be lucky to even get to 1500 and I am finding that is not good for me, as I keep telling myself that I need to go back to the days that i could get to 15,000 or more with no issues.
On the 2nd May it marked 9 years since my stepdads dad passed away, he was like a granddad to me, I honestly cant believe that it has been 9 years, he passed away the opening day of duck shooting 2009, and then on the 10th May, we last someone else in our family, My Niece passed away, this world is not fair, so i know that this week for my family is going to be a hard one, One thing i want my family to know it with the support of one and other we can get through this hard time.
I have also been thinking a lot about my Granddad that pasted away on the 8th August 2016, I think it really hit me again on the 24th April Because that is my dads birthday and it was the second one without Granddad, The first birthday without granddad, I made sure that my dad got something so special, It could not have been any more special, I gave a teddy bear that I had made from one of my Granddads shirts to my dad, I know that it would have been hard for my dad but I also know that it meant the world to my dad to get that as a gift, and still does mean the world to him… I love my Granddad with everything that I have in my body, and that will never change…. It will be okay… XXOOXX